The Foundations of Marriage: Reflections From 25 Years Together

Marriage is more than a ceremony or a celebration. It is a covenant, a commitment, and a lifelong journey shaped by faith, perseverance, and love. After 25 years of marriage, Macky and I have learned that while every couple’s path is unique, the principles that sustain a strong union remain universal. These reflections are offered with humility, gratitude, and the hope that they may guide couples preparing for their own journey.

1. Why Get Married

Marriage seals a lifelong promise of commitment — in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. It fulfills God’s order, reflecting His love for humanity, whom He created in His image. Through marriage, a couple receives God’s blessings for an everlasting union rooted in His presence and His home.

2. When to Get Married

This is perhaps the most difficult question to answer. For us, the timing came through prayer and seeking God’s guidance individually and together. Twenty‑five years later, we remain grateful for His presence in our lives. You know the time is right when you have learned enough about each other — the good habits and the difficult ones — and you are willing to overcome the challenges with grace, patience, and love every time a weakness appears.

3. Who to Marry

Marry the person you want to grow old with. The person you can support when they are at their lowest. The person you trust to stand beside you when you are at your lowest. Marriage is not about perfection, certainly NOT the perfect individual, for there is no such person, but God; it is about choosing someone whose heart you can walk with for a lifetime.

4. How to Get Married

Marry in justice and peace and Marry in the church. One provides the legal foundation and peace of mind; the other provides the spiritual foundation that strengthens a couple through every storm life presents. Marriage is an inheritance God grants to a couple — a blessing meant to be passed down to their family and future children.

5. Making Marriage Work

Forgiveness is essential. Reset and restart as many times as needed. Adjust, re‑strategize, and grow together, knowing that marriage offers infinite opportunities to improve and strengthen your bond. This work must be shared equally by both partners.

6. Making Marriage Last

Treat every day as a new beginning. Let yesterday go, believe that tomorrow will be better, and repeat this mindset daily. Longevity in marriage is built on renewal, not perfection.

7. Making Marriage Impactful

Find a shared purpose — a way to serve others together using your love, your strengths, and your God‑given gifts. A marriage that gives outwardly becomes a blessing not only to the couple, but to the community around them.

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